Namesake
by JoeMerl
Summary: One name, two very different Irkens. Two-shot.
1. Namesake

This is just a weird idea that occurred to me and demanded me to write it. It's a bit strange, but I hope enjoyably so. Please leave reviews and, if you're so inclined, go and visit my other stories, such as current projects "Death of the Dib" and "Dib in the PITS." (Both of which, as an aside to readers of those stories, should update within the few days, depending on how motivated I feel to do my homework. So, yeah, probably sooner rather than later, Vasquez being so much more interesting than Wordsworth, after all.)

Anyway, I hope you find this interesting.

* * *

The Almighty Tallest was dying.

Chief Advisor Granek moved carefully into the Tallest's chambers, antennae falling back on his head in dejectedly. The Tallest was lying on his bed, surrounded by buzzing machines and white-coated physicians, mumbling to each other and trying to be heard over the din of noise.

"Enough of this!" the Tallest cried suddenly, raising one arm limply to wave them all away; even in his weakened state, his voice was deep and powerful, and at his call all other voices stopped, leaving an empty silence but for the beeping and buzzing of the machines. "Leave me, now. I want...no more of this...er, go."

He finished sounding much weaker than he had begun, but all the physicians bowed their heads, wiggling their antennae and muttering respectful wishes before walking out of the room. Granek silently moved aside to allow them through, watching them file out, muttering and arguing again. When the last doctor had left and the mechanical door had slid shut behind him, Granek looked up again, turning to the Almighty Tallest's bed.

The Tallest was silent. For a moment Granek's squiggledy-squooch and PAK filters both stopped breathing. Was he sleeping, tired out so quickly but that small outburst? Or even...

"My Tallest?"

"Granek!" the Tallest called. The Chief Advisor jumped; his voice was suddenly booming again. "Come here...I want to...er, see you..."

Granek walked quickly to his Tallest's bed. His heart was beating nervously--his PAK kept sending little sparks up into his body trying to stabilize its shaky sputters. He approached the bed, standing over his Tallest in what Granek could not help but think was a horribly disrespectful, though unavoidable, way; no Irken should ever seem taller than his Tallest, even if his Tallest was lying supine on a bed.

"How are you, my Tallest?"

"I am...better, today, I think..."

It was a lie, Granek knew it instantly, but the Tallest began to sit up in bed, arms shaking with the difficulty of pulling himself up. He looked very old, now--his green skin was pale and saggy, his mouth was opened slightly, his fingers shook ceaselessly on his hand. Some of his auxiliary armor had been taken off for comfort--his arms were bare, looking thinner and more fragile than a zorquix leg. He was tall, still, but smaller, diminished. Only his eyes seemed untouched by age or illness--they were still bright purple, fierce, but also partially closed now, cautious, as though wary for an attack about to come at any moment, one he knew that this time, he could not win.

It was a moment before the Tallest spoke. "Are the Brains here, yet?"

Granek wanted to lie, but decided against it. "Yes. They are right outside the room."

A grim smile crossed his ancient face. "Very well, then." He coughed suddenly; his whole body spasmed from it. "Then the time...has almost come..."

Granek turned pale, unsure how to respond. This was the Tallest he was looking at, now looking so thin, haggard, weak. This was the mightiest Irken alive, ruler of dozens of worlds, and now...

"Airlock of life," the Tallest muttered, as if reading Granek's thoughts, and let out a dark little laugh that soon descended into another hacking cough. He laid back down, breathing deeply, his PAK sucking in air loudly to compliment his squiggledy-sqooch's increasingly vain efforts. "Ah..."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Granek had received the position as Chief Advisor to the Almighty Tallest several years ago, for one basic and logical reason--he was the Sort-of-Mighty Second Tallest. At the time, he had been 110 in Standard Interplanetary Years, while the Tallest had been nearing the third century of his life, and been on the cusp of the centennial of his rule. He was, indeed, the longest-reigning Tallest since Tallest Prime himself had ruled thousands of years ago.

And this Tallest's years had not been empty, either. Granek's eyes wandered up the Tallest's head, to the antennae that lay flat and limp against the pillow--one was very long, fittingly impressive for such a mighty Irken, but it was the second, shorter one that impressed him more. It had been bitten off during the Battle of Nyxyx by one of the Blorchians the Nyxyxis kept as battle-pets. The Tallest had, famously, pulled the antennae out of the Blorchian's mouth and used it to strangle the beast, which had effectively ruined any chance for reattachment but which the Tallest always insisted was "totally worth it." He had battled in a dozen wars during his reign, brought in as many new planets by conquest or colonization (including Nyxyx, now called Callnowia), and put down four rebellions by Tallest pretenders who had dared to question his rule. Thanks to him the Empire was now one of the mightiest in the known universe, and his name was feared even in planets light-years away.

But he was not merely a warrior, either; ironically, the great Warrior Tallest was also one of Irk's greatest peacemakers, even if he was willing to use violence to achieve those means. It was this Tallest who had devised the brilliant way of ending the constant wars with the Planet Jackers--positioning the Armada to blockade the Jackers' sun until it was nearly extinguished, forcing them into a peace treaty which effectively protected each Irken world from ever being targeted again. The Fryon Conflict had been equally brilliant and profitable--after simply obliterating their unoccupied moon as a show of strength, he had gotten the Fryonians to agree to a peaceful deal, which had ended the war and added untold riches to the Nacho Treasury. His escalation of the Irken-Vortian arms race had eventually forced the Vortians into an uneasy alliance which would only strengthen over the coming years. In fact, later generations would say that he did more to support peaceful coexistence between the various species than any Irken leader until a century later, when Tallest Miyuki would take the throne. Granted, Tallests Spork, Red and Purple would screw most of that up...

He was hacking again, coughing...and suddenly his whole body froze up. Granek froze. "My Tallest?"

_ZZZZZAAAAAP!_

"_Reactivating._"

A shock of electricity came from the Tallest's PAK; he let out a gasp for air and began to pant, spasming as smaller blasts shot forth to stabilize his body. "Too late," he muttered, laying down calmly even as his face contorted with pain. "Almost time..."

The doors opened; Granek turned. A half-dozen Control Brains floated into the room, no doubt having sensed the Tallest's PAK forcing his revivification. They moved silently into position around his bed, creating a wide circle with Granek standing within. The Tallest beckoned him closer; Granek bent down to his Tallest, again thinking with a twisting squiggledy-squooch how disrespectful that necessary action was.

"I have known you for many years now, Granek," the Tallest whispered, his voice hoarse but still strong; there was another sudden blast from his PAK, his face convulsing with the flow, but his purple eyes remained fixed on Granek's red ones, fierce and alive. "I have left...the Empire...in an excellent state, I like to think...and, I know, in excellent hands. You shall...both be fine."

Granek swallowed. "Thank you, My Tallest," he said, heart swelling a bit.

The Tallest smiled, falling deeper into his pillows. "Ah..." he sighed again.

The Tallest closed his eyes; already they were fading, the purple turning to deepest, hollowest black. He drew his final breath, and was silent.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

_ZZZZZAAAAAP!_

"_Reactivating._"

His body convulsed with the electricity, but then fell back on the bed, limp.

_ZZZZZAAAAAP!_

"_Reactivating._"

The Tallest remained unmoving, one arm hanging limply over the side of his bed.

_ZZZZZAAAAAP!_

"_Reactivating._"

Again, no movement, but for the natural reflexes of newly-dead tissue.

One final zap, and then silence. Granek closed his eyes sadly.

And thus ended the hundred-year reign of Almighty Tallest Zim.

The Control Brains moved forward; as Granek stood by silently, they unplugged the Tallest from all his life support machines, the tubes and wires; and then, finally, turning him gently onto his side, they unplugged his PAK itself, removing it carefully as if it were a holy thing. The lead Control Brain carried it quickly from the room, followed by the others, ready to drain it of all that was the Tallest's mind for the computer archives: his memories, his thoughts, his personality and feelings and wisdom...

And his name.

No two Irkens alive are supposed to have the same name; for simplicity's sake, the Brains assign each name to a single Irken, and do not reuse it until that Irken is dead. It was added to the Irken Collective Database with all of Tallest Zim's mind, filed not just in the archives, but sent along to the Birthing Facility Automatic Naming Program, to be reassigned later to a new Irken child.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The next day, Sort-of-Mighty Second Tallest Granek--now Almighty Tallest Granek, fully bedecked in ceremonial armor and robes--stood on the balcony of the chamber that had been Tallest Zim's just one day before, the Irken capital of An-noi spread out gloriously before him. Tallest Zim had built many of those buildings...he bad built and done so much to make their Empire great.

Almighty Tallest Granek stood on the balcony, watching the city's billions of lights, thinking of his predecessor's reign, and his own one coming--until suddenly, he drew back in surprise as all the lights in the city went inexplicably out.

For on that same day--which would forever after be known as Horrible Painful Overload Day, Part I--Almighty Tallest Zim's name had been reassigned to a new Irken smeet.

Tallest Granek was going to have his work cut out for him.


	2. A Brief Message from the Control Brains

OUTGOING MESSAGE TO ALL CITIZENS OF THE IRKEN EMPIRE FROM THE PRIMARY CONTROL BRAIN OF IRK, SPEAKING ON BEHALF OF ALL ACTIVE BRAINS, Dated one week after the failure and cancellation of Operation Impending Doom I:

_It has come to our attention that there has been some confusion over the last week in discussions about the disaster still going being repaired on the homeworld. Typical of these misunderstandings is the recent debate between the quondam Sort-of-Mighty Second Tallest Horace and Pretty-Mighty Third Tallest Oogly:_

Horace: "This is a disaster! This never would have happened when Zim was Tallest!"

Oogly: "What?! How dare you exalt that tiny little monster!"

Horace: "What?! How dare you call the great Zim a tiny little monster!"

Oogly: "Take it back!"

Horace: "No, _you_ take it back, you short little _fish_!"

Oogly: "Why I oughta--"

_(Sigh.) Well, now that we have managed to recover Former Sort-of-Mighty Second Tallest Horace's PAK (what was left of it after the fight, anyway), we can confirm from our scans what many of you may have already guessed: he was referring to the former Almighty Tallest Zim, while the former Pretty-Mighty Third Tallest Oogly (now Sort-of-Mighty Second Tallest Oogly, given Horace's recent death) was referring to the living Exile Drone Zim, the cause of the current crisis._

_Unfortunately this is not the first time this has happened, either. We all remember the rather extreme steps the former Tallest Granek took after Horrible Painful Overload Day, and the mass executions that took place whenever he heard somebody blame "Zim" for the crisis. And of course the zombie-killing vigilante riots after the deaths of Almighty Tallests Miyuki and Spork. The point is, we are sick of all this confusion between the late, great Tallest Zim and the living, horrible Exile Zim, and have thus decided to put a rest of this issue once and for all._

_Henceforth, all official records and spoken conversations about the current Zim will refer to him as "Zim," or "Exile Zim," "Food Service Drone Zim," or any other title he happens to acquire. (I recommend "the Accursed One" myself.) All spoken references to the former Tallest, as well as all official records, shall now refer to him as "Almighty Tallest Zim (No, Not_ That _Zim, the Good One)," or some variant thereof. It is our hope that using this formula will help avoid confusion._

_So, for example:_

_WRONG:_ "You know who rocks? Zim."

_RIGHT: _"You know who rocks? Zim (No, Not _That _Zim, the Good One)."

_Please remember this formula, so that we can avoid any more pointless internecine conflict._

_This has been a message from the Control Brains. Have a nice day._

* * *

This just popped into my head, and thus my one-shot becomes a two-shot. I don't think they'll be anything else, though.

And for the record, I feel the need to give two other stories credit: "In Short Supply" by ckret1, which is the basis of the idea that Zim was named after a Tallest; and "The Puppetmaster" by Zim'sMostLoyalServant, which I seem to have semi-subconsciously copied in a few ways (particularly names). Go read those, they're really good. And hopefully will actually _update soon!_


End file.
